A Bridesmaid's Issues
by LittlePrincessNana
Summary: It wasn't that I wanted to get married but I was ready to settle down. After a dozen too many weddings, I wanted someone to call my own. The only problem was the one I had my sights set on was just a friend and always a bachelor. Or so I thought...


**A/N: So, this has been a long time in the making. Many Many moons ago, this was inspired by conversations I had with** _ **Lisaflowers**_ **on tumblr. Basically fangirlling over the many sexy men of Bleach. And one of them is and has always been Kisuke Urahara aka Hats and Clogs.**

 **Finally, I was able to finish this little Kisuke x fem character one shot for her. Lisa, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it.**

* * *

A wedding.

Another damn wedding because the dozen before it wasn't enough? Perhaps they're right when they say that spring is the best time for them. Every weekend for the last two months has been dominated, wasted by either standing in or attending the dreaded events. None of them my own, mind you and thank the gods for that. No, I was unfortunate to be friends to so many. Too many that asked for me to do them the honor of being a bridesmaid. My poor closet's now jammed with dresses I will never wear again, a few too many being ones I've considered just burning.

First, there was Toshiro and Momo, not that anyone was overly surprised by their announcement and rushed wedding. The baby was due any day now and there were appearances to keep up for the sake of their families. Mashiro and Mayuri wed the week after that in the most bizarre ceremony. I was one of her bridesmaids and I'm still confused over the theme. Some said it was Starwars, some argued Star Trek and I can only liken it to one of those horrible 1950's sci-fi films with the robot aliens that were made out of tin foil and clothes dryer exhaust tubes. My damn dress was silver lamé with bright neon green accents.

Just… No.

But then there was Gin and Rangiku. That was a shock to the entirety of the soul society but surprisingly, the wedding itself was beautiful. And Gin proved he could do more than _creep smile_ at everything. I am pretty sure I saw a little moisture welling in his eyes but he'd only deny it if someone had questioned it. Kensei and Tatsuki tying the knot was a little strange and absolutely precious. He, for all of his machismo, was so incredibly nervous and she made a beautiful, blushing bride. The two of them had tried to hide the love that had sparked between them but it had been the matching cell phone fobs that gave it away. Unicorns didn't exactly _scream_ Kensei.

No one really blinked an eye when Ikkaku and Yumichika decided to tie the knot. Well… With the exception of Kenpachi. He had been slightly (aka majorly) confused. So much so that he'd shocked the entire realm by throwing the most fucked up wedding of all time. He married himself. Everyone had argued against it but there had been a tiny little loophole in the Seireitei bylaws that allowed for such a union. Something about bells, eye patches and the absence of an unnamed body part. I am still not entirely sure, the explanation was too damned long-winded for my attention span (and fucks to be given) but seeing the overly large powerhouse dressed as part man and part woman still terrified me. Even now, I shudder at the memory of him kissing his reflection.

Shunsui and Nanao went all out and completely overboard with their cherry blossom themed wedding. Wilted flowers still blanket parts of the temple grounds and it took me a solid week to get them completely out of my hair. Then there was the completely perplexing and impromptu joining of Shinji and Yoruichi. Apparently, they'd grown jealous of all of the couples getting so much attention that they'd hastily decided to get hitched themselves. A simple wedding on the beach, with everyone in swimsuits and it only took them a week before they got the union annulled. Neither could bring themselves to follow through with the marital obligation of consummation without an insatiable desire to kill the other while they slept.

A week and yes, I am still finding sand in places it should not be. Ever.

But not all were atrocious. Last week was the wedding of Orihime and Uryuu. The ceremony had been breathtaking in a cathedral in the human realm. Blue hydrangeas and white roses everywhere with ribbons and bows in shades of navy and sky blue decorating the pews and doors. I would have never imagined anyone could pull off a nautical wedding theme in style but Orihime had. Even the bridesmaid dresses had been tastefully done. Navy blue fifties style swing dresses with the nautical white stripes across the chest and just above the bottom hem. It was definitely a dress I'd be keeping.

This week though? Ichigo and Rukia. It was very clear to every and anyone who'd been the wedding planner for this shit show. Looking down, I was horribly reminded of baby shit. Seaweed green was plastered everywhere and I am pretty fucking sure the groom on the top of the cake was replaced with Ambassador Wakame. I feel for everyone's favorite ginger. Rumor had it that Byakuya and Rukia ganged up against the poor guy, vetoing every idea he had and I was inclined to believe them. Even my dress looks like it was made of seaweed. Not really sure where the hell they found the fabric, but it does exist. Much to my soul's dismay.

Luckily though, this is supposed to be the last in the seemingly never-ending stream of nuptials. The picture taking has finally ended and the wedding party set loose at the reception. I've since ditched my shoes, preferring the feel of cool tile beneath my feet to the strappy heels that were too tight and way too tall. If I thought I could change my clothes I would, but I decided to soothe my inner fucking diva with wine and cheese. The sake is tempting but I'd prefer to not end up face first on the floor as Renji had the week before. People were still talking about his "stripping on the table."

Not that I'd complain. He's fucking hot and yes, those tattoos are _everywhere._

I couldn't contain the melancholy sigh that escaped my lips. The only thing I could do was lift my glass and sip on the overly sweet wine they were serving. It wasn't that I was jealous. I'd rather cut both of my feet off with a butter knife than anchor myself to a ball and chain before I was ready. I figured I still had at least another fifty or so years before I settled down. I had dreams, aspirations and none of them included a husband or children. Not yet, at least. I wanted to achieve at least lieutenant before I went and did anything _wild and crazy_ like that.

No, definitely not jealous but more like lonely. While I wasn't rushing to get hitched, having someone would be nice. And not just a one night stand. I was fully capable of scoring one of those. It's how I knew Renji truly was inked in all the right places. It explained my knowledge of just how well versed Shuuhei was in the number tattooed on his cheek. My Kegels were still in shock over that entire experience. I'd even scored a very odd and surprisingly hot drunken night with one Kuchiki Taicho. As in the ever stoic, always serious and seemingly cold Byakuya Kuchiki. And can I just say, he seriously ranked as one of my favorites? That gorgeous, albeit off limits, man was a fucking amazing between the sheets. And against walls. And on the floor. And in the shower. And… I'm sure we all get the picture.

But more would be nice. I'd like the opportunity to _not_ have to dress to the nines just to get laid. I'd like to know who I was going home with at the end of a night out. I want the comfort of being able to stay in with said someone and just watch cheesy ass scary movies that highlighted the reasons one did not have premarital sex. All just so we could go find out if it did indeed summon the likes of Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger. OR! Just having someone to whine and moan to when that time of the month came along only to have them show up at my door with a gallon of Stu and Marty's Chunky Hollow.

I love the little candy mask pieces inside that shit.

There was only one place that carried it and one had to travel to Karakura Town to get it. Urahara Shop. _Kisuke…_ Despite having been reinstated as a captain here in the Seireitei, he insisted on keeping his store in the human world. Not that anyone blamed him, the place made a killing and provided a convenient resupply point for reapers assigned there. I also think he got attached to the human world after being there so long and as for me… I was finding myself getting sort of attached to him.

Before the string of unfortunate weddings the likes that Lemony Snicket could not compete with, the man had barely said three words to me. Sure I had seen him countless times in his shop and around the Seireitei but it was always just in passing or he was busy with a customer. Mainly today's bride and groom and everyone knew that both Ichigo and Rukia were like a full-time job all by themselves. But it certainly never stopped me from admiring the man with his old fashion clogs, atrociously out of style hats and manner of dress.

Maybe it had been the mystery of him that had initially caught my eye but if he was in the same space as me, I certainly took note. Tall and lean, he had to be at least six feet in height with what I could only guess to be a swimmers build under his loose-fitting shirts, strange haori, and short pants. His pale, shaggy blond hair begged to be touched and all too often I've wondered what it would be like to tangle my fingers in it. Fair skin, eyes the same deep, rich shade of gray that tinted the storm clouds on the horizon. His face matched his build, long and narrow with a matching thin nose and very well defined jaw. Just the hint of stubble marred his chin and yeah, I've wondered what it would feel like scraping against my thighs.

But I digress.

He had never even noticed me until the god-forsaken weddings. And it was as though I'd been an experiment or a pity case. No matter the reason, we'd struck up a conversation at the reception for Toshiro and Momo. We'd been sat next to each other at the same table and we'd found common ground in judging first, those at our table only to have our skeptical and humorous gaze reach further out into the room. There was no awkward _getting to know you_ phase. We just jumped straight into the whole " _If she'd only gone a little higher with that hairdo, she'd have a missing section of the Great Wall of China."_ We were vicious but it made for a great time.

I had come to look forward to our weekly _dates_. Every Saturday for the last couple of months, we'd meet up at the reception and do our own rendition of Joan and Melissa River's fashion _red carpet_ commentary. We broke down the _do's_ and _don'ts_ of wedding attire, the faux pas therein as well as trying to win _who brought the most outlandish gift_. He was certainly winning in that category as he never failed to bring the most… Unique presents. I still wished I could have been there when Shinji and Yoruichi had opened the sex swing Kisuke had got them. That had to have gone over like a lead balloon but it would have made for a great viral video.

Unfortunately, our conversations always ceased at the end of the reception.

We would bid our brief farewells and he'd disappear while I went back to _whatever_ I was doing. It was so bad and I was so caught up in spending time with him, I was slacking on my bridesmaid duty of hooking up with a random groomsman. Not that I wanted most of them. With the exception of one in today's lineup. Orihime had been so kind as to inform me that the aqua-haired god with the chiseled facial features and body made for sin was none other than THE Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez that I'd heard so many tales about. Once mortal enemies of the groom, the two had apparently become the best of friends. _But…_ Orihime had also been kind enough to fill me in on the tales of him being _not_ really into women. All the power to him but it left me once more with having to pine for a guy who I'd never get.

"Vying for the Sushi of the Year award, I see."

A delightful shiver shot up the length of my spine at just the sound of his voice and I wanted to kick myself for it. _Kisuke…_ "Well,' I replied with the cockiest smile I could muster. "I had to go for something."

He pulled the chair next to me out and sat without any further delay. The smell of sandalwood and cloves drifted past my nose and my mouth watered. He always smelled so utterly delicious and of course, today was no exception. His eyes drifted around the room before his gaze came back to rest on me and his thin, downturned lips lifted, splitting into the most panty-dampening smirk ever known to man.

"There are many awards I would suggest you go for, that was not one of them."

 _Damn him and that fucking smile of his_.

And seriously, damn that voice of his too. Not too deep and filled with just enough gravel to weaken the knees and destroy my ovaries. I'd tried on several occasions to imagine just how he'd sound in the bedroom, that gritty sound deepened and breathy. Of course, his sharp tongue and quick ass wit only added to the attractiveness of his mouth. _Seriously girl, get your mind out of the damned gutter._

Forcing a noncommittal shrug of my shoulder, I pretended to not care when I knew damn well I cared too much. "Don't think I could win?"

He gave me that small, devastating chuckle of his that never failed to do me in. "I am entirely confident you'd have no issues winning any award you were up for."

He gave me a wink and I my breath instantly stalled. Had I just imagined it? Was he flirting or being his usual mysterious and completely unreadable self? I wasn't sure and I didn't want to make an ass of myself by flirting when he was just being a smart ass. _Play it cool, girlfriend. He isn't really interested in you._ My mind was never my friend because she was too brutally honest. It wasn't hard to keep a smile from my face. "Thanks."

 _Thanks?_

This one man. A captain of squads. Not only the founder but the first president of the S.R.D.I. An inventor of amazing things such as the gigai, two-way holographic communicator, the anti-hollow vaccine, the restoration hot springs. A master of swords, hakudo, shunpo, and Kido. This man, with a resume that most would be jealous of (but wasn't because he didn't broadcast his ego). He gave me what was a compliment and had just, undoubtedly, made a pass on me. How did I, master idiot, reply? Thanks. Not really my most shining moment so excuse me while I go-

"You gonna sit here with fuddy-duddy all night or are you gonna come dance with us?"

 _Thank you, Matsumoto_.

I could have kissed her for choosing that moment to interrupt. The operative word there was _could have_. I'd kissed her once. We were all drunk, back in the academy and just _young and dumb_ in general. We were both suckers for a dare and leave it to Ikkaku to capitalize on that. Neither of us had escaped that evening with all of our clothes and I am still wholly unsure exactly what had happened after we'd left the bar. There had been talk, but no one would confirm or deny it. So no, definitely was _not_ going to make that mistake again.

"Rangiku," I replied just a tad too cheerfully and stood just a bit too quickly. "Dancing sounds fun. I haven't done any dancing in soooo long."

I had to ignore the questioning look on her face and definitely had to resist the urge to look back at Urahara's handsome face. I was pretty sure I was signing the death warrant for anything that _might_ have been there. I'd just acted like the Soul Society's biggest loser asshole. When my time finally came and my headstone was erected, that was what they'd put on there. My name would be foregone for that. _Biggest Loser Asshole._

"You know," Rangiku smirked as she slid an arm under mine. "Someone would think you were trying to escape an embarrassing situation."

"I have no clue what you mean."

The _go to hell_ look she shot me said it all. She didn't believe that any more than I did saying it. "You do realize I won't judge you for hooking up with him. Right?"

I could only give a noncommittal grunt as we made our way onto the dance floor. I didn't exactly want to just _hook up_. I wanted that man on a nightly basis. Or daily. Or nightly and daily with snacks in between. Who was I kidding? I wanted the man anyway I could get him but this was all coming back to my douchery.

"Yeah," I muttered as we came to a stop on the dance floor. "You'd poke fun at me for at least a decade before you let it drop."

She began to move to the music and tossed her head back in laughter. "Maybe a bit but only in good fun. I promise."

I could only give a roll of my eyes because I knew better. Sure, she always meant well but this was just digging in a little too much for my taste. Why did I have to go _liking_ someone so impossibly unattainable? Especially one that I'd just so effectively blown any remote possibility with. Nailing down Renji in a committed relationship would more than likely be easier at this point.

"It really doesn't matter," I replied. "Doubt that'll be happening anytime soon anyway."

"Um, you sure about that?"

I looked up to find her looking past me, an amused smile on her face and I froze. The hair on the back of my neck stood and I suddenly wished I'd pulled the pins out of my hair to let it fall. _He's not…_ As much as I didn't want to contemplate that her question could mean what I thought, there was no denying the sudden flush of heat against my back. Or the soft whisper of air against my ear.

"Do you mind if I cut in, Miss Matsumoto?"

There was no stopping my eyes from rolling back at the sound of his voice so close to me. My heart began to beat so hard that I could feel the pounding all the way down to my toes. _What do I do?_ Truth? I probably should've kicked my ass into gear and ran, but then I'm not that smart. Or perhaps it's my inner masochist crying out for the sledgehammer of doom that I knew was coming. I was going to turn, we were going to dance and then nothing. All because either I read him wrong and he wasn't flirting _or_ he was and I'd pretty much blew him the hell off. Why? Refer back to the _I'm not that smart_ comment.

I finally managed to muster up some semblance of courage (or stupidity, you choose) and turned to find him mere inches from me. I could smell him so vividly and felt the warmth of his body radiating through our clothes. It was torture. The kind that twisted your insides, set fire to your princess parts and flooded all the villages in one's panties. Those poor villages. My poor panties. And I had yet to chance a glance up at his face.

An arm snaked around my waist and a hand pressed into the small of my back, trapping my body solidly against his. "Is it normal to tense that much when dancing?"

Of course, he'd make a smart ass comment. I should have really known he would but it still ticked me off. Was he just goading me? I lifted my head, chin high and all that great crap, prepared to give him a taste of his sarcastic medicine. The cheekiest of comments poised itself on the tip of my tongue and my lips prepared to spew the greatness of my acerbic prose. Only his face stopped me. Well, all of him really but that expression.

A challenge flashed in those storm cloud eyes of his and that _devil may care_ grin just gutted me and swept the rug out from under my dumb ass. His hand captured one of mine as he began moving us to the suddenly slow beat piping through the speakers and what did I do? I just kind of followed along, fish lipping a silent response of _not a damn thing_. It was probably for the best as I was batting a thousand but it definitely was not my norm.

"You know," Kisuke lamented. "One would think you really were not into this."

I blinked at first, wondering just what in the hell he could be hinting at. But then it hit me and I quickly closed my hand over his, mumbled the sorriest excuse of an apology and brought the other up to rest on his shoulder. Did I mention that I wasn't too bright? If not, that was definite proof and I'd thought the _look_ was torture. No. Being that close, touching him, feeling his body brushing against mine; That was the definition of torment. And just to up the ante, he pulled me even tighter against him.

"Much better," he whispered as his cheek came to rest against mine. "And have I told you that you smell divine?"

 _Have I ever told you that you smell like heaven and sex?_

For the first time in my life, I was proud of my ability to not open my mouth and insert both feet up to the hip. I'd successfully kept that little comment all to myself but now there truly was now no mistaking his gesture as anything other than a pass. There could be hope for me yet. Maybe. As long as I minded my _P_ 's and _Q_ 's, hopefully. _Please don't let me be the loser asshole I always end up being. Please?_ "No," I smiled. "But you smell pretty good yourself."

He gave a hum of appreciation that vibrated against the wall of his chest before he moved on to his next question. "I am going to assume those are your heels and clutch at the table?"

Not exactly what I'd imagined him saying. Alright, him asking if I was wearing panties or not right out the gate was probably not his style. My mind was never anything less than Rated NC-17, don't judge. But my heels and clutch? What exactly did they have to do with the price of rice in the Rukon Districts? _Not a damn thing._ "Um, yeah…"

Kisuke must have sensed my confusion as he gave a chuckle. Or he's telepathic, which would not fucking surprise me at this point but it was probably my open-ended answer. "How about we go collect them and find somewhere a little more… quiet?"

* * *

 _Fuuuuuuck…_

There was no other way to describe any of this because quite honestly my brain had officially quit. Him. Me. Us, here and now as my back slammed against the wall. I think I'd heard the door shut behind us but I couldn't be sure and I really didn't care in that moment. His lips, that glorious mouth of his was dominating my own and good god could that man kiss. Have you ever felt a kiss down to your toes? Or better yet, felt it in the deepest recess of the cavern of love between your legs?

Yeah, well let me be the first to tell you it's fucking glorious.

I know you're probably wondering how it started and I'm not overly sure. We were walking in the garden one moment and the next he had me pulled into a darkened alcove. Our lips met and that was it. Our hands were everywhere, touching, pulling and grasping for purchase. The seaweed sheath that was my dress ended up around my waist, a leg pulled up and hooked over his hip. And his fingers. .FUCKING GOD! Thank the gods for his mouth on mine, otherwise, anyone around would have heard just how good those fingers truly are.

If it hadn't been for the sound of party revelers approaching with their obnoxious whoops and hollers, we'd still be there. And I would have already had my first orgasm of the night. Stupid assholes, ruining a perfectly good fingering. He'd pulled my dress back down and swept me off to his room in the hotel. And thank the gods for that because we'd barely made it out of the surprisingly crowded elevator before we were right back to what had begun in the garden.

Perhaps it's his skill as a reaper but his lips never left mine the entire way down the hall and now we were right back to where we began. Only worse. When I hooked my leg back over his hip, his fingers did not automatically seek out my throbbing core. It was so incredibly frustrating and I didn't give a single fuck if my whimpering came off as weak. I was prepared to get on my knees and beg. Me, the queen of not having any fucks to give, begging. Just let that be a testament to how well he can work those fingers.

I shudder in delight to think what else he is capable of…

But instead of those gloriously long fingers pulling my soaked thong to the side to take refuge inside of my heat once more, he gripped the meaty globes of my ass and lifted me up. My legs instinctually wrapped around his waist and his lithe form seemed to fit perfectly against mine. I could feel the evidence of his arousal, confirmation that he wanted this as much as I did, pressing against me. Long and hard just like the rest of him. It only served to tease as his hips thrust against me, reminding me of the barriers of cloth between us.

His lips left mine to descend down. Over my chin and slowly down the curve of my neck. His teeth scraped against my flesh, sending shockwaves down the length of my spine. My fingers found the unruly mess that was his hair and curled into the locks. Kisuke tugged at my hold and the moan it bartered from his lips vibrated against my hollow of my throat. I'm pretty sure if I had any piece of my ovaries left, it was shattered with that sound. It put the most delicious images in my head, my favorite being him bent over my kneeling body while thrusting into me.

"God, I need you."

Okay. Scratch that because _that_ was fucking sexy. Lust dripped from his voice. Deep, thick and raspy the way I'd imagined but only better. I could feel it rumble in his chest before my ears were graced with its sex-laden rasp. Seriously, just fuck me running with a daisho set. His hips arched up into me as though to prove his point. I could feel that coil winding up once more. He wasn't even going to have to sink himself into me and I knew I was going to go at this rate.

His words called for action and who the hell was I to ignore it. Not like I could or even wanted to, mind you. I managed to slip a hand between our tightly compressed bodies and found the hard length of him trying eagerly to escape the confines of his hakata. Despite the cloth that covered him, I could feel every detail of the long, thick shaft. My core clenched at the thought of it sliding inside, stretching me the most fabulous of ways. He thrust into my grasp and let loose a deep, raspy moan against my chest where his lips skirted along the top edge of my strapless dress.

My fingers finally found the pull string on his pants and he took a play from my book. As I pulled his pants loose, his own hand came up to roughly tug at my dress until it pulled free of my breast. I couldn't contain my cry of pleasure when his lips captured a pebbled nipple and his tongue reigned down exquisite torture upon it. For a moment my mind contemplated the sweet death that could come with those lips and tongue between my legs but my impatience and desperate need for him won out.

I slid my hand inside his pants as they fell loose and we gasped together when my fingers met the hot flesh of his cock. It twitched against my palm and I gently brushed my thumb over the tip. Already there was a bead of wetness there, solidifying the fact that he wanted this as much as I did. Imagine that. And yeah, I would have contemplated it if it weren't for the sex-fueled fog that polluted my brain and shielded my vision so that all I could see or think of was him.

The hands gripping my ass so tightly lifted me higher against the wall as fingers snaked under the edge of my thong panties. The material rolled from within the valley between my cheeks, the drenched material lifting from the slick flesh at the apex of my legs as it was pulled to the side. Cool night air offered a small amount relief as it hit my heated skin but it was not to last as long, masculine fingers ghosted over my entrance to my core. I waited eagerly to feel them slide into me but he had other plans. Better plans.

"Line me up, my little Minx."

I didn't need to ask for his meaning as I could feel his arousal throbbing in my hand. Unable to resist the desire to tease not just myself but him as well, I gently brushed the tip against my clit. My eyes rolled and my stomach quivered. He growled against my breast, perhaps in warning, but I wasn't done. I brushed the thick, pulsing head against my folds and just ghosted over my opening. I was so wet that he easily slid against me, enhancing the delicate friction and making me want him even more. Teeth lightly scraped over my nipple, capturing it and tugging just enough to pull a whimper from deep within my throat.

"Minx…"

Kisuke's voice was as breathless as I felt, desperate and needy. But there was something else, something that shot through to the deepest parts of me to ignite a flame that I didn't know existed. It made me want to obey, to give in despite the usual need to rebel and control. His head lifted until his gaze found my own. Even though the room was lit only by the moonlight streaming in through the opened curtains, I could see the warning that flashed in those smokey greys. I felt off kilter, out of my depths and I liked it.

I eagerly did as told, placing him at my entrance a single corner of his wide lips pulled up into a smirk. Did he have to utterly destroy my ass? Seriously, he had to know by now just how he affected me. By the time the night was through there would be no need for birth control any longer. I was pretty sure my uterus had exited on the newest tidal wave to coat my sex and the head of his cock.

His nose brushed against mine and he kissed me opened mouthed as he gave the smallest flex of his hips. The tip slipped inside of me, just barely opening me up and already my body began to tremble. I needed him inside of me, not just a hint of a taste. I pulled my hand from between us and tried to press the heels of my feet against his ass to no avail. He held himself there as his lips molded to mine to kiss me senseless.

The spiced sake and cherry tobacco flavor of him renewed itself on my tastebuds once more and I knew now that it would always be my favorite flavor. His lips and tongue made love to mine. Slow and almost methodical. Neither too hard or soft, always just right. Coaxing and guiding, pushing the world around us and all that I new farther and farther away. It brought me to the point that I struggled to catch my breath and my vocabulary was reduced to a pleading whimper.

And it was only then that his hips snapped and he buried his entire length inside of me in one fell swoop.

Forget the cry that ripped itself from my lips or the sexy ass prolonged moan that came from him. Yes, I saw stars. Yes, it was beyond glorious. And yes, there was a little pain mixed in with the pleasure. But no, he didn't rip my ass in two. We're talking about Kisuke, not the monster that is Kenpachi. That big ass motherfucker probably has nothing less than a parking post between his legs. I said I like a _little_ pain but I stop at body splitting. Sheesh.

No.

Kisuke was perfectly sized. His cock stretched me exquisitely, making it sting on the initial intrusion. But it was that kind of hurt that heightened your senses and put an edge to the pleasure that courses through your body. I was on cloud nine and while I usually would have loved just a few seconds more to adjust, he was having none of that. He was as impatient as I, needing more.

Hands dug into my ass, pushing me up the wall as he withdrew and pulling me harshly back down again. The fingers of one hand curled into the shaggy locks of his dirty blonde hair as my other hand clutched at his back. His lips left mine and he buried his face into the crook of my neck as he set his pace. Hard. Fast. Rough. Gone was any semblance of gentle. It was pure, unadulterated lust and I fucking loved it.

Higher and higher I climbed. Every snap of his hips sent tremors throughout my body as the head of his arousal met the deepest part of me. His length touched places I wasn't even aware existed. Our bodies pressed so tightly together created the most delectable friction, rubbing in all the right places. It unhinged the mind and I forgot how to speak anything other than his name.

The flutters started in the pit of my stomach and pressure built at an alarming rate. The coil inside was winding tight and sparks began to ignite at the ends of my nerves. I could feel it rushing towards me like a tidal wave and there was no stopping it even if I wanted to. Gasps became pants. Moans and cries of passion climbed in octaves into fevered screams of lust.

Until everything shattered.

For just the smallest fraction of time, everything stilled. The muscles in my body seized, my toes curled almost painfully. The breath in my lungs stilled. My voice caught in my throat while my lips parted in a silent scream. And then in a blink, it all fell apart. I'm pretty sure even those down 15 floors in the lobby heard me cry out as spasms wrecked my body. Screw fireworks, it was like watching a sun explode and taking out everything in that solar system with it.

My orgasm was like the ocean and my body the rocks, again and again, it crashed over me. His pace didn't falter or slow until the tremors and contractions began to subside. Little by little, I started to descend from the clouds he'd just placed me on and I gradually became aware that he was as hard as he was when we'd started. Hot, thick and pulsing inside of me, just begging for release.

"Please… Don't," I gasped between labored breaths. "Don't tell me we're done."

I was addicted and greedy for more but then so was he apparently.

His grin could be felt against my throat before I could see it resting on his lips when his head lifted. He brushed his lips against mine before tightening his grip on me and pushing us away from the stability of the wall. "Minx," he chuckled darkly. "The sun'll be up before we're _done_ here."

* * *

I fell back, collapsing against the sheets but they offered no relief for my heated, sweat-covered body. My lungs burned as I gasped for air. The vision was slowly starting to clear but the other side of the sun-lit room was still a blur. My entire body? Jello. Every bone in my body had left the damn building and I was completely okay with that. I felt utterly spent in the best of ways. Forget what I'd said earlier about the others, not one held a candle to Kisuke Urahara. He was just…

"Wow…"

I couldn't hold back the breathy laugh that exploded from between my lips. "I was just thinking that exact thing."

Fingers brushed against mine and I let my head fall to the side. I'm not really sure just how the hell he does it but he was even more _edible_ post-coital exploits than he had been before. The _freshly fucked_ hairstyle and light sheen of sweat covering his lithe swimmer's build added to his already killer attraction. I really couldn't deny it anymore. I was totally head over heels _in like_ with him.

"You-I-this…" Kisuke's words trailed off and he reached up to run his fingers through his hair. "I seem to be at a loss."

He was even more adorable with that _completely lost_ expression on his face. And if he was lost, I didn't stand a damn chance of ever being found. My heart skipped a beat and I swallowed hard, the knot that suddenly appeared in my throat fighting to keep its ground there. What if that _lost_ expression wasn't really that? What if he was suddenly regretting the decision to sleep with me?

My spiraling thoughts only managed to tighten my chest. I needed to stop myself before I threw myself into a full-fledged anxiety attack. Because how sexy would that fucking be? I somehow doubted that me asking him to take me to the Fourth because I can't breathe and feel like I might be dying would be too great for my case if he was regretting it. That expression of whatever the fuck it meant would turn to a definite _run for the hills_ and he'd be gone, our chance over. Fin. _Change topic. Think of something else._

I rolled towards him and propped my head up on my hand when I caught sight of the strangest thing. Here I was, naked as the day I was born and definitely not ashamed of it. He was there, naked as well save for one thing. That long, sexy and oh so perfectly sculpted body of his was a sight to behold with his wooden clogs still attached to his feet. I lifted my gaze to his and arched a brow. "Do, uh, those ever come off?"

His head lazily lifted off of the bed and he looked down only to furrow his brow. It was like he wasn't even sure. "Um," he hesitated. "No, not really I guess."

"Ah," I chuckled. "So they're permanently attached?"

His gaze turned up to meet mine and he blinked a couple of times. At first, I didn't think he was going to answer until his confused expression turned to that of humor. He grinned and allowed his head to fall back to the bed. "No, they come off."

 _God, that grin of his…_

My stomach flipped and flopped like a fish out of water and that pesky little itch between my thighs? It was suddenly back. I've got it so bad which means I am so doomed. This couldn't be anything more than a one-time thing. The obligatory wedding hookup which always ended with both parties awkwardly hugging and telling lies. But I wasn't ready to contemplate that, not yet. Not when I was still reeling from six hours of the best sex I've ever had and emotional overload.

Humor. It was always my _go-to_ for avoidance. I quirked a brow playfully and gave a Cheshire smile. "Does that make them your _fuck me_ clogs then?"

"I guess that would be the case now," Kisuke laughed.

"Now?" I quipped, trying best to hide any evidence that I could possibly be remotely jealous of anyone before me having had the pleasure of _all_ that was him. No, I'm not stupid. I get that he's had, lovers. There was no way that glorious, oh-so-talented man was a damn virgin. But still, I didn't want to contemplate it either. "As in, I'm the first you've _fucked_ in clogs?"

"As in I've never fucked anyone in _this_ pair."

 _Alright. Don't do it. Don't listen to that little-horned fucker sitting on your shoulder. He's been around. So have you. Or do you need me to list them all for you?_

Despite the little pep talk in my head, the filter between that and my lips had to have fallen out. Or was destroyed during the amazing marathon of sex. Who knows but before I could stop myself, the words fell right out and I instantly wanted to crawl inside of any available hole and die. "And here I thought I was special."

He grinned and rolled towards me, propping himself up on his side with one hand as the other reached out to pull a strand of hair from my face. "Oh, my little minx. You're incredibly special."

There went that drop in his voice again. The one that destroys ovaries and renders me unable to resist him. Not that I really wanted to but there was just one little problem. _His_ little minx? I wasn't exactly sure what that meant so there was only one option. Play it off. "Short bus," I chuckled nervously. "I know."

A short hum rumbled his chest before Kisuke shifted, moving to press himself against my side and drape an arm over my waist. "No," he replied as fingers softly drew circles on the flat of my stomach. "Special enough to find out that I have more than one pair of clogs."

 _Oh god…_

Did he not get what his touch did to me? That was the initial question firing off in my brain as my belly quivered and my breath caught. But it only took one look at his face, the mischievous gleam in his eyes to know he knew _exactly_ how he affected me. That only left one other question to be had. What angle was he playing? Humor, once more to the rescue.

"Oh my," I grinned as I brought a hand up to capture the one moving on my stomach. "More than one pair? Do you have like a pair for every outfit? Every season?"

He must have guessed my motives to halt his touch as his hand turned on mine and lifted up above my head to pin to the mattress. This was even more disconcerting as it brought his body partially over mine, his lips so dangerously close once more. "Every outfit," he said softly. "I live for style, as you can tell."

I know he felt me tremble as surely as I could feel moisture returning to my core. How easily I responded to any of his advances. I knew I was in so much trouble and feared this was going to be it. But I couldn't let that show. Others used less than that to hurt others and there was no record I could find of Kisuke ever settling down with anyone.

Trying my best, I put that cool facade back into place and slid a foot along a toned calf. "Definitely and you simply must keep this pair. They go so well with your birthday suit as well."

Kisuke chuckled and leaned down to lightly nip at my bottom lip. "I planned it that way and I'd venture to say they are more comfortable than your _fuck me_ heels."

At first, I was confused until it dawned on me that he was referencing those godforsaken strappy hooker heels from hell. When in the hell would I ever use seaweed green heels for anything? I wasn't really sure where they'd ended up, my last memory of them was hazy. I think he'd chucked them across the room during our third go around. Or was it the fourth?

"Even without trying them out," I chuckled. "I'd say hell yes."

A soft chuckle tumbled from his lips before his head descended and his lips captured mine. There was no containing the gentle sigh that bubbled up as he slowly kissed me. Gone was the rough and heated, open mouth kisses from before. In their place was more similar to that of established lovers, unrushed and fingers wove with mine, no longer holding it hostage but becoming one, equal.

It felt too good and I could feel myself falling way too fast. I was never more grateful when he broke the kiss and pulled back to peer down at me.

"I will say your heels, while a hideous color, made for amazing earrings."

More humor? I could handle that. "Oh? You liked that huh?"

Kisuke gave a nod of his head as his face fell serious. "Absolutely but I think, perhaps we should give them one more test. For the sake of scientific certainty."

 _Not only is he a god in bed but he's also the sexual energizer bunny._

I had a high ass drive and was always game but seriously? We'd just fucked a marathon! I'd need at least four hours sleep, a long soak in a hot tub and a shit ton of carb loaded food. "Again?" I gasped. "You're ready to go again?"

He let out a laugh. "What are you doing this week?"

 _Oh thank you, Ba-_ While I was relieved he didn't really want to go again so soon, I felt the unmistakable twinge of disappointment settle in. This was probably the obligatory _Oh, we'll get together again later_ crap that came with all one nighters. I knew because I'd been guilty of the same thing. I swallowed the inexplicable lump that had formed in my throat and forced a laugh. I had to play along. "That's what I thought. What day are you looking at?"

"Day?" Kisuke asked, a weird smile rising on his lips. "I asked about the week as I think it will take me _at least_ that long to be sure. Repeat tests and all that

"Oh..." I replied, unable to keep the disappointment from my voice as I looked away.

His hand released mine and he hooked a finger under my chin, raising my gaze back up to his. That _weird_ smile was still there but there was no mistaking the gentleness in his gaze. "But then there are so many other shoes out there to test as well," he added. "This could take years."

"Yea-" My mouth had been moving faster than my brain but his meaning finally hit, ending my stupid ass question. My eyes widened in surprise and I'm pretty sure I looked like an idiot laying there, fish lipping. _Did He… Was he saying… This was..._ "Oh!" I finally managed. "Then thi-"

His lips crashed into mine, cutting me off. "Yes Mynx," he whispered against my lips. "This is definitely a _more than one time_ kind of thing. It always has been for me and I'm tired of losing my partner in crime to another groomsman so I'm staking my claim."

Yep. I had definitely been an idiot.

A blind one at that but not anymore. He wanted me and I wanted him. My lonely bridesmaid issue was officially solved.

* * *

 **Yes… This has sparked my desire to create more Bleach fics. Who cares that the manga is done. I don't. Just leaves more room for us authors to create more love and headcanons of our own. Can't say when they will happen but the ideas are running rampant.**

 **Hopefully, this wasn't too horrible. And a huge shout out to my friend, B, for inspiring the last piece of conversation in this.**

 **Hugs,**

 **Princess Nana**


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